I Can't Remember
by 24mayhem24
Summary: This is if you have read Mockingjay. Peeta has been rescued from the Capitol. The doctors at District 13 have helped him recover from the hijacking... but something else went wrong. Genre might change to Romance/Suspense or Hurt/Comfort/Romance, but not sure yet.
1. Out Cold

**Hi, this is my first fanfic! Yay! Anyway I will only write more if people actually read it, so please review. Any comments and constructive criticism will help me. Oh, and I don't own the Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does. This is during MJ when Peeta has been rescued. Except something extra happens… Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

I'm in some sort of hospital. I know that for certain. But what else do I know? My head throbs constantly, I can't feel my fingers.

"Mr Mellark?"

I'm vaguely aware of someone calling my name. It hurts, but I tilt my head up ever so slightly to see who it is. I sigh. It's only a nurse, looking down on me with her brow furrowed in concern. I groan as let my head fall back on the hospital bed. The nurse leans over me, and I see her smile sadly. She touches my forehead gently with her gloved hand.

"Well, you're fever's going down, Mr Mellark. But I'm afraid you're not quite stable yet. This will hurt quite a bit…"

Ouch. She wasn't joking. I clench my fists, which are held firmly to the hospital bed by tight metal restraints, as the nurse jabs the needle in my forearm. I feel a sudden relief, though, as the substance in the syringe slowly makes its way into my bloodstream. I know I'm about to drift off, so I let myself close my eyes and welcome sleep. I hear the nurse's voice, but it's muffled. I hear another voice, too, one that I don't recognise…

The voice sounds panicked and frantic. It's a girl.

"What's happened to him? What have you done?" she cries.

The nurse replies calmly, but the girl, it seems, won't have any of it.

"How… How could you let this happen?" she's practically screaming now. "How could you?"

Now I hear a man's voice.

"Listen, you need to explain fully what happened to Peeta."

Wait… what? I'm trying to fight through the desire to sleep, now. What did happen to me? Who are these people? How do they know me? I know it's too late to try and resist. I fall asleep suddenly and then wake up in alarm. Sleep is tugging at me fiercely, trying to pull me under. I briefly catch the words 'hijacking', 'tried to help' and 'amnesia' before I fall asleep.

**Okay, so this is short, really short. It's probably more like a prologue... But, if people want me to write more, the next chapter will be much longer!  
><strong>


	2. Reunion with Reality

**Hi, I just want to thank iam97 and Monkeygal333, my first reviewers! Okay, so enjoy chapter 2 and tell me what you think!**

My eyes flutter open. Slowly but surely, I gather my bearings. It only takes a few minutes before I remember the man and the girl earlier, and their 'conversation' with the nurse. Her screaming still plays over and over in my mind, the obvious desperation in her voice, the disbelief. Then the man. He was calmer, more composed but it sounded like he was pretty worried, too. Were they worried about me?

The thought sends a rush of pleasure through my body. I try to remember the last time somebody cared for me. Then I realise what the nurse meant by amnesia. Because I can't remember anything. Well, I remember the bakery. I remember the smell of fresh bread, the cakes, the frosting. I remember a woman, my mother, standing at the counter, yelling at me for something. I can't see her face; I think the memory is too clouded. I remember her raising the poker we use for the oven above her head. Ouch. Then I remember my father, waiting with me in the playground on the first day of school. I can't see his face either. I remember him pointing somewhere, at a girl. She wears a dress, a red dress, I think. I don't know why, but I feel my heart race.

Of course, I remember the Hunger Games. How could I not? I remember the dreaded arena. I remember the gong. I remember sitting up all night under a tree. I remember getting stung. I remember covering myself in mud and leaves. I remember sitting near a girl in a cave. I remember lying in a sleeping bag feeling terrible. I remember gathering berries. I remember the wolf mutts growling and pouncing on me. I remember winning.

And the Quarter Quell, I remember that, too. I remember the boy helping me swim when the gong sounded. I remember slamming into a force field. I remember the fog. I remember the monkeys. I remember being saved. I remember the events in each section of the clock. I remember sharing bread with some other tributes. I remember the coil of wire. I just don't remember anyone there.

"Mr Mellark?" Ah. It's the nurse again. She looks down on me, her hazel eyes bloodshot and her chocolate brown hair slightly tangled. She's probably here to tell me I don't remember anybody. I carefully sit up, with the aid of two doctors. One is a woman with ginger hair and green eyes and the other is a man with jet black hair and eyes that are nearly the same colour.

"Yes?" I reply.

"These are your doctors, Dr Wallace," she smiles, gesturing towards the woman, "and Dr Shermona. They need to tell you about… your condition."

Boy, this should be good. I smile patiently, while mentally bracing myself for the blow that I know is about to come.

Dr Shermona bends down and quite frankly stares at me with those black eyes. "Now, Peeta. You were taken by the Capitol. Do you know who they are?"

I roll my eyes. I may not know who some of my family and closest friends are, but I remember who has been ruining my life. "Yes."

"Good. You see, they hijacked you. The injected you with poison that twisted your memories and made you think good people were bad people."

This comes as news to me. "Really?"

Dr Wallace nods. "But it's okay, we've fixed that. Don't you worry about that, now."

I raise my eyebrow. So how did I get amnesia? Trying to remain patient, I breathe a pretend sigh of relief.

"Son, in reversing what the Capitol did to you, something else happened by mistake. We did fix the memories that had been tampered with, but it went too far. Let's just say, we sucked out all the poison, but we lost control and sucked out the memories that were fine," Dr Shermona says slowly.

I can't stand it any longer. "So I have amnesia?" I blurt out.

Dr Wallace winces slightly at my outburst, but shakes her head. "Not exactly. You see, you can remember all the events of your life, but you don't remember the people who were involved. You still know who your parents are, but you don't remember their faces. You wouldn't remember them if you saw them, either."

"This won't be permanent, either. We will give you medication and therapy, and let you talk to all your friends so you can know who they are," Dr Shermona says, tilting his head slightly to the side and looking at me patronizingly.

I tune out for the rest of the conversation. All I can tell is that they speak slowly, trying to pronounce every word properly, so it will be easier for me to understand. Like I'm some sort of lunatic. I can feel my fists clenching.

"I'm not three, alright?" I yell. "You can speak to me normally; I understand every word you're saying!"

There it is. That look. The nurse is giving me that reproachful look you give to a puppy when they misbehave. She sighs and shakes her head, as if it's not my fault that I behave this way because I don't know better. Well I do know better. I know enough to realise that I'm going to have a hard time with a nurse and doctors like this. I swallow down my anger and smile apologetically.

"Sorry. Can I just see my family? I need to see them, set a few things straight."

The doctors exchange glances. Dr Wallace reaches out her hand and pats my arm awkwardly.

"Your family… well, they didn't make it out of District 12," she whispers.

"What? What happened to 12?" I manage to say.

"I'm going to explain this as gently as possible. The Capitol destroyed it. They dropped bombs. This was when you were in the arena for the Quarter Quell," she murmurs, "I'm afraid your family didn't make it out alive. They're dead."

Sheesh. Way to let me down gently. I don't think of my mother, or my brothers. I think instantly of my father, in the playground, pointing to the girl. I hear his voice. Telling me how her he wanted to marry the girl's mother, but he ran off with a coal miner. I force myself to focus on his face, but still, all I can see is a blur. I beg the doctors to sedate me for a while and reluctantly, they do.


	3. Katniss Who?

**Thanks iam67, InLoveWithPeeta , CloudedLeopard891, ohmygawdpeeta, teampeeta4eva, Apocalyptic-Mess, Beautiful-With-Pain, Torygirl, Nicole1413, fayexdancer, LittleMissPeyton, stopbullies411, Sunburst25 and Monkeygal333 for your comments/ favourites . Time for chapter 3! Oh, and this chapter refers to a lot of content from THG, and it's all Suzanne Collins, not me.**

I grunt when I hear someone call my name, telling me to wake up. When they start to shake me, I grunt again and give their hand a light smack. I mean, come on! The anaesthetics haven't even worn off yet! I roll over and bury my head in my pillow, trying to block out the voice.

"Come on, Peeta, get up!" cries the voice. I recognise the voice from yesterday. It belongs to the girl who was screaming at the nurse.

"Okay, okay. Gimme a few minutes," I moan groggily.

"No, Peeta, get up now!" she insists. I shake my head like an ignorant child. She sighs and begins to tug on my arm, saying something about how two can play at this game. I lock my arms and legs so that she can't even drag me out of the hospital bed if she tried. I let my eyes open a little bit just to see who has been pulling at me for the past five minutes. Wow. I see a beautiful girl with olive skin, penetrating grey eyes and long, dark hair that has been tied in a braid. Her eyebrow is raised.

"Don't make me get the water bucket…"

I sit up almost at once. "You wouldn't…?"

"Oh, yes I would," she smirks, "I did it to Haymitch, didn't I?"

I groan again, even though I have no idea who Haymitch is. Shrugging the itchy hospital blanket off my body, I stretch out my arms and yawn. Then I take another look at the girl sitting beside my bed and smile.

"Fine, I'm up."

She returns my smile almost nervously. "Good. Err, Peeta? Do you even know who I am?"

"No. I'm sorry," I admit. The light in her eyes goes out and she looks so crestfallen I want to put my arm around her and tell her that I do remember her. But I don't, so I can't. Suddenly her eyes start filling with tears. Oh, no. I'm about to jump out of bed and reassure her when she swallows hard and looks at me sadly. She clears her throat.

"I'm Katniss Everdeen," is all she says.

"Oh," I answer, even though what she has said has no meaning to me. She reaches out her hand and I take it and hold it firmly. We spend a few minutes like this in silence, me holding her hand while she just looks at me. I curse the Capitol in my head because I feel like monster, not knowing who Katniss actually is. I wonder what our relationship was before I was hijacked. Were we just friends? Judging by the way she was crying over me yesterday, I'm not so sure.

"Can you tell me about…us?" I ask quietly, looking down at the floor.

"Oh…" Katniss stutters, her eyes widening, "okay."

I give her a comforting smile and nod at her. She inhales slowly through her nose, letting the air out through her mouth. I can tell she's preparing herself. After another few minutes, she looks up into my eyes and nods. When she speaks now, her voice is steady.

"We first met when we were eleven. My father had died in a mine explosion in our district. My mother wouldn't move, wouldn't sit up in bed unless we helped her. She was fragile. So I had to look after us all; my mother, my little sister Prim and me. We were running out of money and food. I was selling Prim's baby clothes in the rain. I was outside the bakery and… and I started going through the bins, looking for leftovers. Then your mother told me to leave. She kind of yelled at me and I saw you behind her. I sat down by a tree near the pig troughs and I heard your mother yelling again. Then you came out with two loaves of burned bread. You had a mark on your cheek. You started tearing off chunks and feeding them to the pig. When your mother had gone, you threw me the loaves. You saved us."

"Oh."

"I never really spoke to you. But one day at school, I saw you looking at me. We both looked away and I saw a dandelion. I picked it and Prim and I harvested them in the Meadow. We ate dandelion salad and bread that night."

"Did we ever meet again?"

"Yes. You and I were both reaped in the 74th Hunger Games. But you remember that, right?"

I think back to that day when I was on the stage in front of our escort. She asked me to shake hands with my district partner. Then we were whisked away. The next thing I knew, I was on a train with our escort, our mentor and her, Katniss Everdeen. I blink. I try to remember shaking hands with Katniss again, and this time, I see her face. I see her face!

"Yes! I… I remember! I remember shaking hands with you on the stage…" I cry out in joy. Katniss grins and I hear her laugh. I try to remember more. The rooms we were given, the luxurious showers and the clothes. I remember the food so well, now. I begin to recall everything that happened on the train, up until our mentor, the drunkard, was sick.

"Yes! That was Haymitch! That was Haymitch Abernathy!" Katniss is beaming now. I keep going, just to see the smile on her face widen. I recall how I had to clean him up, how he smelled so bad! Then I get carried away. I begin to remember the hot chocolate we had the next morning. I rub my jaw as I remember how our mentor (Haymitch, was it?) punched me hard when I knocked his glass over. I recall his gruff voice, telling us he'd stay sober enough to help.

Katniss and I spend the afternoon talking. I manage to recall most details about the train journey, but I still don't remember any faces. Katniss looks so happy, and I feel like I've just scaled a mountain. I realise that I will keep going, for my sake as well as hers. She makes me promise that I will wake up when she asks me to everyday.

I start to drift off at around 5 o' clock. Katniss is still there, so I apologise. She tells me it's fine, that I should just go to sleep already. And I do, without any form of sedation.


	4. Icing on the Cake

**Haha! Thanks to Master of Chronicles (Nice little joke by the way), , TeamPeetaandKatniss, LittleMissPeyton and everybody else who favourite/subscribed/commented. And iam67, thanks for your advice it really helped! Be warned, though, there may be a cheesy joke or two thrown in the mix… I'm so sorry it's taken ages to update! **

It's been two days since I first met Katniss…again. Katniss Everdeen has been beside my hospital bed at exactly 9:00 each morning. She has shaken me awake and I have spent the rest of those days talking to her, trying to recall as much as I can about The 74th Hunger Games. I don't remember what any of the other tributes looked like, but I can sure as heck remember training with them. I'm more comfortable with Katniss around, admittedly. I think she's the reason the nurse or the doctors haven't shown up since. That in itself makes me want to speak to her more.

So it's a surprise when there's somebody else sitting by my bed at 9:00. He has matted hair and smells of liquor. Grinning, he takes my hand and shakes it roughly. Then he leans forward slightly and says, "Peeta, how's it going?" I recoil. He definitely smells of liquor. He laughs loudly and takes a swig from a half full bottle of white liquor he has with him.

"Aren't you gonna say hi to your old pal Haymitch?" he asks, thumping me hard on the back. His voice is slurred and I wonder how many bottles he's had this morning. He laughs again before adding, "Oh right, you don't have a clue who I am, do ya?" He takes another gulp from his bottle and starts to shake with more laughter, spilling white liquor everywhere.

"Actually, I know you're my mentor," I say calmly.

"Eh?"

"But then again, being this tipsy I wouldn't be surprised if you don't know anything," I mutter drily.

"Eh?" Haymitch repeats.

"I know you're my mentor," I say loudly.

"I guess Katniss told you, right? Did she also tell ya your family's dead, your district's destroyed and ya don't remember who any of us are?"

"Yeah, well, the nurses filled me in about what happened to 12 and I kind of gathered that I don't remember you by myself."

I lie back down in the hospital bed and turn away from him, hoping he leaves soon. I hear Haymitch sigh behind me and shift his position.

"Listen, Peeta. I want you to remember us just as much as the others do. The doctors, who by the way look like a bunch of idiots, told me you don't remember faces. Is that right?" Haymitch grunts.

"Yep," I nod, grinning at Haymitch's comments about my doctors.

"Well, we really want to help you. If I introduce you to your friends, do you think you'll remember them?"

"Not really, but it'll help," I smile gratefully.

Slowly, I sit up in bed and look at my mentor expectantly. He gives a loud grunt and suddenly my area is full of people I don't recognise. One thing's for sure, they all have that same, sad, yet slightly longing look about them. I start to think people do actually want me back to normal. Katniss isn't among them, which disappoints me a little, but oh well. Standing in front of me are: a tall, older guy with bronze curly hair and sea-green eyes that look a lot like a cat's, a slightly plump girl about my age with blonde hair and a nice smile, another, older girl with buzzed off hair and brown eyes, a tall older guy with olive skin, dark hair and grey eyes (that looks kind of like Katniss) and an old man with ashen skin and black hair.

I feel so awkward with loads of people staring at me who seem to know who I am, even though I have no idea who they are. I look at each of them guiltily, not meeting their gazes.

"Err, hi, guys…" I mumble.

"Hey, Peeta," the girl with the shaved head smiles, though she has a slightly tortured look in her eye, "I'm Johanna Mason. I was with you in the Quarter Quell."

"Hi, Peeta," the guy with bronze hair says, giving me a warm grin, "I'm Finnick Odair. I was with you in the Quarter Quell, too."

"Hello, Peeta!" the lumpy girl beams, "I'm Delly Cartwright. We used to play together when we were younger in District 12!"

"Nice to see you, Peeta," the old man with black hair smiles, "I'm Beetee. I was with you in the Quarter Quell."

"Hey, Peeta, I'm Gale Hawthorne. We didn't know each other too well, but we both lived in District 12. I met you properly after you won the 74th Games. I'm friends with Katniss," the guy who looks like Katniss says. When he says Katniss' name I can see in his eyes that he has feelings for her. I don't know why, but I feel a pang in my stomach. I blame it on the medicine.

When they finish introducing themselves, we don't know what to do next. They stand, fidgeting with their thumbs while I sit up in bed, playing around with the itchy hospital blanket. We both wait in silence before there's a massive thud. We all turn round at once and find Haymitch collapsed on the floor in a puddle of white liquor. Suddenly, my nurse draws back the curtains, sees Haymitch and looks around with an expression on her face similar to one of somebody with constipation.

"Haymitch is so emotionally touched by this gathering that he needed to drink his way through it," I say quietly. Then everybody in the room bursts out laughing, even the nurse. I smile sheepishly; unaware that everybody was listening to me.

"Same old Peeta, always says the right thing at the right time!" the bronze-haired guy (Finnick?) chuckles.

"Really? Did I?" I shrug.

"Oh, yeah. You were the smoothest talker out of all the tributes. Caesar Flickerman adored you."

Everybody starts to laugh again, clapping Finnick on the back and making humorous comments. I smile nervously and glance at the floor tiles for a while because I have no clue who he is. Johanna must have picked up on that and nudges Finnick, who is next to her. She makes an action with her hand, dragging it across in the air with a fluid motion. I think she's trying to say _enough_. In a few minutes, the muttering and giggling ceases. Finnick clears his throat and steps forward.

"Peeta, do you know what you like to do best?" he says quietly.

"Baking? Frosting? Painting?" I shrug.

"Yep. You used to make those cookies and frost them, too. Everybody who went past the bakery in 12 started drooling when they saw them in the display window," Gale laughs.

"When we were in the Quarter Quell, some jabber jays started to scream like somebody each of us loved. It was only me and Katniss who were affected. Katniss heard her sister's voice, Prim. I heard the voice of the woman I love, Annie Cresta. Do you remember that?" Finnick asks.

I frown and close my eyes, soaring through my memories of the Quarter Quell. Suddenly I come to a halt when I see Katniss disappearing into the woods (I can see her face again, but it's bruised and scratched) and someone I presume is Finnick following after. If I concentrate really hard, I can hear the jabber jays.

"Yeah, just about," I sigh.

"Well, we're getting married in two days… would you like to do us the honour of frosting our wedding cake?" Finnick is beaming with the thought of marrying his Annie Cresta.

"Yes!" I cry, "Sure thing!"

"Great, it's supposed to represent District 4 and our days at sea. Thanks, Peeta. This is great what you're doing for us," Finnick grins, "and you're invited to the wedding, too, if you'd like to go."

"I'd love to."

Finnick smiles, showing his dazzling white teeth and gets ready to leave. Everyone else does the same, smiling, waving and throwing happy goodbyes at me. I return them as patiently as I can, but I feel my hands twitch when I realise I have a cake to frost. As Gale leaves, he gives me a fairly stiff goodbye and props Haymitch up on a chair, wrinkling his nose at the smell of liquor. I laugh awkwardly and wave him goodbye. I wonder why Gale hates me, or at least, dislikes me. It's not hard to tell. I think it's something to do with Katniss, though, something she hasn't told me. I don't really think about it afterwards.

It's another four hours of fiddling with my thumbs, taking naps or being fed medication before the people with the cake come in. It has three tiers and I can tell by the smell that it's vanilla flavoured. I take in the aroma greedily; vanilla was my favourite flavour. A woman comes in, wearing an apron and carrying piping bags full of buttercream frosting in every colour imaginable. Then another man brings in more frosting of different flavours, chocolate, mint, vanilla, strawberry and I even think there's a toffee flavour! The nurse raises the hospital bed slightly so it's easier for me to work. Oh, yes. This day has been pretty fantastic, but I think _this _is the icing on the cake.


	5. The Wedding

**Hey everyone! It's been really great writing this story and don't worry, I have chapters to come… Thanks to everyone who commented, favourite and everything else! By the way, I am NO expert in cake decorating so sorry if I get this completely wrong :P I'm sorry if my version of the wedding is similar to anybody else's but I haven't seen any yet. This is a long chapter in comparison, so watch out, and please review!**

**The Frosting**

Before I snatch the piping bags out of the woman's hands, I glance over the cake again. I see it already has a base layer of plain white icing, which is good. This wedding cake is a canvas ready to get covered in paint.

I first grab the blue frosting and work on the bottom tier; gently squeezing out the buttercream into waves rolling against the shore, caressing the sandy beaches. I then add a tint of green frosting to make it look more realistic and finally just a little bit of white to represent the froth. I take small pieces of honeycomb (which is among the ingredients at my disposal) and mash them up with a marble pestle, before sprinkling them near the centre of the bottom tier on a thin layer of golden-brown frosting to form the beach. I wait a few minutes to inspect my work. It's pretty good, if I do say so myself. It's a bit boring though. I use food colouring to turn some marzipan icing into a darker shade of brown before gently moulding it into the shape of a small boat. I use more marzipan to make the mast and regular white icing to make the sail. I even add the steering wheel. I get a little on my fingers and resist the temptation of licking it off, like I had to do at the bakery. Carefully, I mould small orangey bits of icing into little fish and have some leaping out of the water, some swimming near the surface. I make a few orange ones, a few silvery ones and a few greenish-blue ones. I treat each fish like a piece of art, making sure to get the scales just how I want them, like they're glistening from the seawater. I take care to make the sails on each boat look like they're rustling in the wind.

I do the same thing to each tier, adding a small fisherman here or there, or a clump of seaweed growing up a rock. I make some dolphins and seashells out of icing. On the side of each tier there is a layer of icing that I make to look like an underwater scene. On the middle tier I decide to mould (or should I say sculpt) a mermaid sitting on a rock, looking out at the beautiful ocean. On the final tier at the top the buttercream waves started to form a jet of seawater squirting upwards, but slowly curling round in a spiral. Caught in it was seaweed, dolphins, seals, starfish, seashells and tiny fish. The sea-creatures have joyful expressions on their faces. Then standing happily at the top, half engulfed in the water, are Annie and Finnick. I know I've captured Finnick perfectly; his bronze, curly hair, his sea-green eyes. Annie is harder to make, since I haven't even met her, but I see some photos and am inspired by those. This icing version of Annie has long, dark hair and nearly the same sea-green eyes as Finnick. Finnick is wearing a traditional District 4 wedding suit and Annie is wearing a simple yet dazzling sea-green dress to match her eyes. I let out a sigh of relief when I realise everything has gone right. But, somehow, I know I'm missing something.

I take another look at the photos of District 4, Annie and Finnick. Ah. That's it. I realise what I'm missing when I see a picture of Annie standing near the sea at a friend's wedding, as a bridesmaid. She wears a modest white dress and matching dolly shoes, but that's not important. It's the basket of sea flowers she has looped through her arm. I'm missing my signature white icing flowers that I add to nearly everything that has been decorated by me. But since my usual white flowers won't do, I alter them ever so slightly to look like sea flowers, but so they are still recognisable as mine. I add them to every tier; I even put a miniature one in Annie's hair. When I'm finished, I know that now the cake is perfect.

Behind me I hear the nurse and my doctors whistle in appreciation. I can't help but grin, even though they are idiots. They grin back.

"You have some talent, m'boy," Dr Shermona remarks, nodding his head in approval.

"Thanks," I smile, leaning back and letting out a sigh of contentment. Dr Wallace is speechless (!), which makes me blush with pleasure. My nurse has a look of amazement on her face.

"Five hours," I say to them, trying to divert the attention away from myself for a while, "four hours of you just standing there. How did you do it?"

"It was easy. Watching you decorate this cake was like watching a tightrope walker. I held my breath all the time. Oh, and when you nearly messed up the mermaid's tail… boy was I nervous for you. I was on edge," Dr Wallace breathes when she finds her ability to speak.

"I'd never thought I'd get so excited over buttercream frosting…!" the nurse exclaims.

**The Wedding**

My doctors have finally decided I'm well enough to go to the wedding. It's been three and a half hours of swaying towards yes, but then suddenly changing to no. Finally, after recalling the day of the reaping with next to no mistakes, they let me go. So I slip into a plain tuxedo and shoes and wait. I don't mention to the nurse that I can only see three faces; Katniss, Haymitch and myself. At least it's progress.

I see Dr Wallace draw back the curtains separating me from other patients. She comes in with something in her gloved hands, which I realise is the painting of Finnick and Annie sitting on the beach, letting the water lap against their toes. I painted that as a wedding present, as there really wasn't much hope of sauntering above ground to the Capitol to buy a nice fruit basket for the couple. She carefully places it inside a box filled with packing polystyrene and puts the lid on top. The box is already wrapped in gold paper, but Dr Wallace sticks a red flower made of ribbon on to the lid.

"Come on, now, Peeta. It's time for the wedding! Would you like somebody to escort you to the ballroom or could you manage?" she chirps excitedly.

"I'll manage," I reply, taking the wedding present from her arms and getting ready to leave.

"Okay, have fun! Don't drink too much, or over exert yourself, remember you're still in a condition unsuitable for…"

I draw the curtains quickly, drowning out the rest of her words. I barely glance at the hospital as I make my way to the ballroom. Before I reach the polished mahogany door I can hear the buzz of people chatting happily and the 'clink's of glasses lightly knocking together as small toasts are made. I hold my breath while I push open the door.

I see large round windows cloaked with thin aquamarine drapes, turning the light a beautiful blue. I see a raised platform where a goblet of water stands on a pillar and there are two strips of netting hanging from the ceiling and knotting together above the stage, forming a canopy. The side of the stage is encrusted with semi-precious stones and seashells. In the ballroom there is a channel that has been dug straight through the middle of the room, leading up to the stage, just for the wedding. It's filled with seawater, forming a small stream. There are stepping stones on the water so people can cross to either side of the room. There is silver lace tablecloth on the large mahogany table holding presents. There's a separate area for a dance floor. There aren't as many people as I thought, but then again the whole of District 4 couldn't have been flown in for the wedding. Only Annie and Finnick's parents have been allowed to fly in. Ladies are dressed in elegant gowns and men in suits.

I see Finnick, Beetee and Johanna making their way towards me. Johanna is wearing a silver knee length dress and is looking as uncomfortable as I've ever seen her. I remember why when she nervously steps across the stream, taking extra care not to get wet. The torture in the Capitol did this to her. Beetee is wearing a navy blue suit and bowtie, his hair neatly combed. Finnick has a wide grin on his face and looks great in what I remember is a traditional District 4 wedding suit. He has a fresh, pale blue sea flower on his lapel. His sea-green eyes are sparkling with happiness. I congratulate Finnick and he replies graciously. I spend a few minutes talking to them before Finnick excuses himself; beaming and giggling something like "It's almost time!"

It's almost time for the ceremony. Everybody hurries to their seats. A small group of musicians begin to play a soft, melodic tune as Annie, dressed in a stunning, green silk dress, appears from a door at the back of the room. Her arm is linked in her father's, a beautiful smile on her lips, a bouquet of white lilies in her hand. Her glossy dark hair is loosely curled and in it is the same pale blue sea flower as the one in Finnick's lapel. I can't shake a feeling of familiarity about Annie's dress. Finnick is waiting on the stage as his bride to be makes her way through the stream, lightly stepping on each stone. It sickens me a little that there are cameras in the corners of the room, following Annie and her father. They must want to show the footage to the whole of Panem.

The 'vicar', apparently from District 4, smiles as Annie's father helps her on to the platform. You can tell on her face that this is just bliss for her. Finnick smiles at her as she joins him under the canopy. The music fades out, the vicar clears his throat.

"We are gathered here today to witness the marriage of Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta. If anybody has a reason to stop the wedding, please speak now, or forever hold your peace."

Finnick and Annie both turn to the guests, looking worried. There's silence, and eventually they both relax. The vicar smiles, turning to Finnick.

"Do you, Finnick Odair, take Annie Cresta to be your lawful wedded wife…?" I can tell Finnick isn't really listening. He's lost in Annie's face, in her eyes.

"I do."

"Do you, Annie Cresta…" Annie is staring into Finnick's eyes, not paying the slightest bit of attention to the vicar's speech.

"I do."

Slowly, Finnick reaches out and takes Annie's hand. He gently guides her hand into the goblet of seawater, where their fingers entwine. This must be the District 4 marriage ritual. They hold their hands there, for a minute, smiling. The vicar gestures towards the goblet, signalling the pair to take their hands out of the water. They do, still smiling. Annie whispers something to Finnick, her lips form "I love you." Carefully, she raises her hand, still dripping wet, and caresses the side of Finnick's face. Finnick replies, "I love you too." He strokes Annie's face with his wet hand like she did to him, with just as much love, care and trust behind it.

"You may now kiss the bride," the vicar says. Without a moment's hesitation, the pair lean in and kiss each other. They are married now. Everybody claps as husband and wife make their way to the dance floor. The musicians start to play again. Finnick and Annie dance like there's nobody else in the room. Slowly, the guests begin to join her. I see Beetee lead a jolly Delly Cartwright to join in, and I see Gale for the first time. He takes Johanna's hand reluctantly, she narrows her eyes, and notices Gales pained expression before agreeing. I understand why. It seems like they're both the most awkward people in the room in terms of being forced into evening wear.

Haymitch starts dancing with a woman from our prep team, still drunk but not as much as usual. He's been forced into an orange bow tie and suit. Then I see Katniss. Her hair is in her usual braid. She's wearing a blue dress; I think one from the Victory tour. I suddenly recognise Annie's dress as what Katniss wore when we went to District 9. After not seeing her for about five days, I do everything I can to stop myself from rushing to her.

"Hey, Katniss," I smile.

"Hey, Peeta," she replies, "I'm so sorry I haven't come to see you lately. Haymitch said I should give you some air…"

"It's okay. You wanna dance?"

"O-okay."

I take her hand and gently lead her to the dance floor. We both know a little bit of dancing, so we don't find it hard to get into the rhythm of things. I'm smiling down at her, she's smiling up at me. As we pass Gale and Johanna, I see his expression stiffen and his body tense. Then I remember what bothered me that day.

"Katniss, can I ask you a question?"

"Mm," she nods.

"Was there anything, anything between you and me? Anything to make Gale dislike me?"

Katniss stops. I watch her contemplate what to say to me now. She bites her lip. Silence.


	6. I Want the Truth

**Hey, I'm sorry it's been so long updating… mild case of writer's block… I was sneezing jumbled words all over the place! Anyway, thanks to everybody who rated/reviewed! This is going to be a bit different as it will be in the Point Of View (POV) of different people! **

**Katniss' POV:**

Peeta slowly lets go of my hand. The silence between us in this moment is so hard to endure. My arms form limply to my sides. I bite my lip. What do I say to Peeta? Do I tell him that he loved me since he was five, that I took advantage of his being in love with me to get sponsors, that he risked his life for me in the 74th Hunger Games, only to find that I was pretending to love him all along? Do I tell him I broke his heart? I look up into Peeta's blue eyes, trying to find that forgiveness he always had. Instead I find that pained look I would see so much before the Quarter Quell.

"Katniss? Was there anything?" his voice is hollow. I'm breaking his heart all over again. Should I tell him?

"Yes," I manage to choke out before my eyes start to fill with tears. Almost at once, Peeta grasps my hand again and wraps his other arm around my shoulders. He wordlessly walks me out of the ballroom and leads me down the nearest corridor. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know where he's going, but since I have no idea, I let him steer me around corners. I let myself slip away for a moment; I let myself be the puppet while he controls my strings. I feel as limp as a rag doll. After a few more minutes I find it hard to stand up, let alone walk. Why am I so emotional?

"Peeta?" I ask faintly.

"Yeah, Katniss?"

"Are you angry?" Peeta doesn't say anything for a while. I hate the silence.

"No," he finally whispers.

"Why?" I frown, tripping over my own feet. His arms are around me just before I fall to the floor.

"Come on, Katniss. Let's talk." Peeta slowly leads me towards a room that says 'Cleaning Supplies' in small black letters on the door. He pushes it open and as soon as we're inside, I collapse on a pile of cleaning rags. I lie there in complete darkness. Peeta pulls a thin string hanging from the ceiling and the single bulb flickers and eventually lights up brightly. I hear a soft thud and open my eyes as Peeta plonks down next to me. He rests his chin in his hands and sighs. I shuffle slightly closer to him and look up at him nervously, not sure how to react.

"Y'know what?" he grunts.

I shake my head.

"My life is a mess."

I pause, then nod. Suddenly he starts to smile and he laughs lightly. I cover my mouth as I giggle too. I lean my head against his shoulder and close my eyes. He adjusts so I feel more comfortable. I slowly start to feel sleepy. I sniff wearily.

"Katniss, go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up," Peeta whispers.

"You will?" I mutter.

"Yeah."

I smile and let myself lull into a peaceful sleep with no nightmares at all. As far as I can remember, I've never had a night as serene as this.

**Peeta's POV: **

When morning comes, Katniss' head is still on my shoulder. I slowly sit up and roll away from her, letting her head gently rest against the pile of rags. I remember my promise from last night and lie back down near her. I hope today I'll finally know the truth. Katniss told me there was something that happened between us. I guess that's why Gale isn't so keen to be my friend. But I want to find out more, desperately.

"-eeta?"

I turn and see Katniss, her head buried in the oily rags. Her voice is muffled as she calls my name again. I lean over and carefully turn her head so she's facing me.

"I'm right here. Told you I wouldn't leave…"

"Thanks," she smiles as she struggles up to a sitting position. She yawns loudly and stretches out her arms before resting her eyes on me. I must look stupid because she laughs.

"You must've slept awkwardly; your hair is sticking up on one side," she remarks quietly.

"Yeah, well, that's because your head was on my shoulder," I reply lightly. I find myself yawning too. I offer Katniss breakfast and we stand up and leave the room full of bottles of 'sublime mango floor cleaner' and greasy rags. We let our wrists get stamped with a schedule for the day (mine still says _medication and therapy _in the 16:00 slot) before heading off to the canteen. Breakfast is sausage, fried egg and hash browns which I accept gratefully, since I didn't have much to eat last night. Katniss and I sit down on the same table as Johanna, Annie, Finnick and Delly. Delly greets us happily and Johanna says hello by taking a chunk off my hash brown with her fork and putting it on her plate. Finnick and Annie, still holding hands, say good morning warmly.

"Sorry we didn't stay for all of your evening," I say apologetically, "I… I'm just really sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Peeta," Finnick replies happily, "you know, I don't think you've properly met Annie before. Annie, this is Peeta! He decorated our wedding cake." Annie is staring into the distance with her glossy hair falling over her face, covering her eyes. Finnick's voice brings her back to reality and there's a short pause as she takes in what he has just said.

"Hello, Peeta. The cake was beautiful, really. Thank you. It added to the best day of my life," Annie grins, looking at me brightly.

"My pleasure, I'm glad I could help," I smile. Katniss is tucking into her fried egg, wolfing it down like she did on our first meal on the tribute train, to annoy Effie. I smile to myself as I recall every detail in my head without any fault. I'm also pleased that I now see Finnick, Haymitch and Johanna's faces in my memories. I sip some orange juice thoughtfully, my mind bulging with memories of both the Hunger Games. I'm making progress.

After breakfast, its _reflection_ time, which is odd as we normally get _reflection_ in the evening. I decide to use my two hours spending time with Katniss. At the minute we're sitting in the cleaning closet we spent the night in.

"So, are you ready?" I inquire softly.

"Ready for what?" a puzzled Katniss asks, her brow furrowed.

"Are you going to tell me today? What happened between us?"

Katniss sighs and clears her throat. "Yes… In the interviews before the 74th Hunger Games, you told Caesar Flickerman the host that… that you loved me. I was angry at first but then Haymitch showed me how desirable you made me look by saying that you and other people from District 12 loved me. So in the actual Hunger Games, when it was announced that both tributes from a District could win and we got reunited, I pretended that I loved you back. That you'd won me over. You were sick, you would've died. I needed to get a sponsor to give you medicine. I didn't really get any, but by playing being in love we got lots of other things. Things like food. You did most of the talking. I thought you were acting too…"

Oh. I pretended to be in love with her to get her sponsors? I frown slightly when she's speaking, but when she looks at me from time to time, I smile encouragingly.

"Go on," I urge.

"And we won. Haymitch told me we were in trouble and that I'd have to blame my stunt with the berries to being driven so crazy with love. I asked about you, and he said you were already there. I didn't know what he meant. But after the winning ceremony when we were on the train back to 12, you found out I was only pretending. I found out that you really did love me. After that, when you spoke to me, your voice was hollow. It was so hard to pretend to be in love when I didn't know what to feel. I couldn't tell if I was angry at you or in love with you. I only felt numb. To make it all worse, one day when I was hunting with Gale in the woods, he… leaned in and kissed me. I was so confused. He loved me too, Peeta, he still does. But I haven't told him if I love him or not. I don't know. On the victory tour, we decided to start over and be friends and I felt like you'd nearly forgiven me. After he was whipped, I felt like I did love him. I chose life in the Seam. But then everything changed and I felt like I was being spun around and around and around.

When the Quarter Quell was announced, I vowed to keep you alive. In your mind, you did too. I knew you still loved me. We pretended that I was having a baby. You know what came next, Peeta. We survived again. And all the time I kept Gale waiting. That's why Gale's so cold."

Oh. So I did love her.

At night I watch all the tapes of our Hunger Games. I really was in love with her, everybody could see that. I know the truth now, but it hurts. My stomach twists and turns whenever I see her. I'm confused. I think I need to talk to Gale.


	7. Twisted Dreams

**I have one word. S.O.R.R.Y. I can't believe I haven't updated in so long…! Thank you to your comments/reviews/everything else and thanks to 922cf , I will soon improve chapter 5!**

_I see Katniss, through the bars of the cage that isolates me from the rest of the arena. A cannon fires in the distance. I hear the rustling of the bushes that Katniss is hiding in. She sneers, blood as red as roses drips from her fingers. I rattle the bars loudly, shouting for help. This is how she caught the other tribute; this is how she has caught me. Judging by the blood smothered over her fingers, that tribute's last moments were very painful. _

_Katniss stalks towards me, her body swaying as she approaches my cage. Her face is one big sneer; her eyes are narrowed, mocking. She snarls at me as I rattle the cage once more. I feel like a bear, trapped in a cage in the big zoo that is the arena. Each tribute is different. There are lions, hawks, sharks, everything. Katniss has a voice as sweet as a mockingjay, but she is ruthless like a shark, ferocious like a tiger, determined as a wolf, sly as a fox and swift as a falcon, but right now, she reminds me of a hyena, laughing at my misery._

_When she reaches my cage she withdraws a key from a leather belt she is wearing. The silver key is on a chain and she swings it around her fingers, circling me and cackling. She looks up at me, smiles innocently and walks towards the front of the cage, key in her hands. Her sweet little smile widens as she takes hold of the tiny silver padlock that keeps me here. She takes the key, carefully fits it in place and begins to twist it. She does this so slowly, that I hear each click of the lock as the chances of my freedom increases. Has she changed?_

_She glances at me from the lock, her mysterious, grey eyes sparkling. She gives me a radiant smile and I return it. She's going to set me free. I count the clicks: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight… She looks down on the eight, still smiling. I'm about to be free! I hear the ninth click and close my eyes. This is it! Then nothing. I frown as my eyes are closed. What's happening? I think maybe Katniss wants me to see how kind she is being, so I open my eyes and grin. Katniss waits, watching me. As soon as I open my eyes, she twists the key the other way with such power that the whole cage shakes. Each click is like a judge's gavel crashing down, sentencing me to death. _

_It was all a trick. All a lie, because Katniss can never be sweet or kind… _

_Katniss Everdeen is nothing but an enemy. _

"Aahh!" I scream, sitting up in bed. I touch my forehead, but my hand falls back down to my side. It glistens with sweat. I get up and sigh, plodding over to the en suite bathroom that I have been given in District 13. I hope nobody has heard me, because I don't want to end up in the hospital again with a 'mentally unstable' band on my wrist. I wash my face with cold water, trying to wash away that horrible nightmare. Suddenly, there's a knock at my door. Oh great.

I open the door to a worried looking Katniss, the person I least wanted to knock at my door at 4 o'clock in the morning.

"Peeta, are you okay? I thought I heard screaming from my room..." she asks, looking behind me for tell-tale signs in my room. When she sees nothing, her eyes wander back to my face.

"I'm fine, really. Don't worry, Katniss, I'm fine!" I assure her, catching the disbelief in her eyes. She quickly tries to hide it, but it's too late. It's a bit… pathetic. She looks at me, her arms folded across her chest. She's coming to see if I'm okay, but it seems _she's_ the one who needs _my _comfort. It's a bit selfish, isn't it? My nightmare an excuse to help her feel better… it's a bit cruel, right?

"Are you sure?"

I clench my fists tightly, trying to supress the animalistic instinct I have to punch Katniss Everdeen right in the face.

"Yes. Don't worry about me; I just need some more sleep."

Well, I'm not lying, am I? I really do need some sleep. I say goodbye to Katniss and yawn loudly for effect. I traipse back to bed, pull the covers over my head and drift off again.

In the morning, I hurry off to the canteen for breakfast. Katniss beckons me over to her table and Beetee, Johanna, Annie and Finnick wave at me. Gale nods at me from his porridge. Oh… I need to talk to Gale.

I walk over to them, smiling, but when I see Katniss, my fists clench and I feel myself gritting my teeth. I slam my tray down pretty hard, much to the surprise of everybody else. Annie winces and Finnick squeezes her hand reassuringly. Johanna raises one eyebrow and Katniss frowns. My right hand is ready to attack, but I hold it down with my left hand. I must look so strange. I close my eyes and swallow hard. I sit opposite Katniss, next to Finnick. It's all I can do to stop myself from aiming a kick at her from under the table. After a few minutes of banter here and there, I feel my arms twitching again. Oh, no. When I look up, I immediately locate a spot on Katniss' neck that would be great to strangle. Oh, no.

"Sorry, guys. I think I better go…" I mumble, gathering up my tray and making a speedy yet dignified exit out of the canteen. It's nearly 9 o' clock, time for_ Therapy and Medication_. I hurry to the hospital wing and bump into Dr Shermona on his way out.

"Oh, Peeta!" he exclaims, "A little change of plans. Since we've so many new recruits to become doctors for the war, we have decided to let a trainee doctor see you today for your session. You're so much better anyway, we thought it would be a good opportunity for the…"

"Yeah, that's fine. Bye, Dr Shermona," I smile, approaching my little room. I pull back the curtains.

"Hi, I'll be your doctor today, but I'm a trainee. My name is Pr- Oh!" A small, young girl gasps. She has blonde hair tied into two little braids and her face is as fresh as a morning rose. I know her. She's… she's… Primrose Everdeen.

Primrose Everdeen.

"Hi, Peeta."

"Hey, Prim," I reply, trying to smile.

"Well, this'll be a bit weird. But I guess it will be easier for you to open up to me. I promise you that I won't tell Katniss, or anybody, for that matter. Dr Shermona calls it Patient Confidentiality. I call it Don't Blab About Your Patient Or Else," Prim grins.

"Yeah, he's a bit of an idiot…" I shrug.

"So now it's your turn to talk to me. Tell me how the amnesia thing is going. And, I know this sounds odd, but tell me everything about Katniss, Gale, Finnick, Johanna, Annie, Beetee and Haymitch. Especially the bad stuff about them!"

I gulp. I know it's best to tell the truth, and I trust Prim, but…

"Prim, last night I had a nightmare. It was about Katniss, except she was… evil. I woke up and Katniss had come to check on me but I felt like slamming the door on her face. I felt like h-hitting her. Then this morning, when I saw her, it took everything I could do not to strangle her. When I saw her I felt so… so angry. I don't know what's wrong with me now." I blurt out. Then I stupidly clap my hand over my mouth and grit my teeth. Stupid, stupid, stupid!

"I think I know what's happening Peeta. She's broken you again."

"What?" I ask, confused.

"Katniss has broken you all over again. Did she tell you about the 74th Hunger Games, what happened between you two?"

How does she know all this?

"Yes!"

"You're still in love with her."

"No!"

"You're still in love with her, Peeta. You're confused because you loved her and she didn't love you and now you think you're falling in love all over again. Your emotions have left you weak and now the tracker-jacker venom is targeting that. They helped cure your hijacking, Peeta, but it's not gone. It feasts on the weaknesses. Your mixed emotions right now are your weak spot. The hijacking made you think that Katniss was the enemy. This is the reason why you feel like throttling my sister."

"That's not it, Prim. I… I don't love her. But I guess I'm kind of vulnerable now," I sigh, shaking my head.

"Look, Peeta. I may be young, but I know things when I see them. You love her. You don't have to believe me, but you'll learn the hard way. Peeta, if you realise that you truly love Katniss Everdeen, then you'll be able to break through."

Primrose Everdeen sounds older than her sister when she says these things. I guess she's wiser than I first thought. I don't love Katniss Everdeen, that's for sure. Do I?


	8. Now I Know

**Hey guys! I actually wasn't planning on continuing this (I kinda sorta maybe gave up), but I don't like giving up on stuff and some people actually want more (for some strange reason :P). So, here you go!**

I leave the hospital wing feeling like I'm about to explode. I make my way towards the makeshift gardens. All I can think about is Katniss: my nightmare about her, her yelling at the nurse while I was out cold, knocking at my door looking distressed, helping me recover from amnesia…

And suddenly I'm on the floor. And suddenly someone is rushing towards me. I hear a strange sort of heavy breathing and I realise that it's me.

"Peeta? Are you okay?" Gale cries out, holding me by the shoulders and gruffly helping me up. I look around; though my vision is blurred, I see roses and lilies and grass and bushes. I made it into the gardens before collapsing. I know all of the flowers are fake, but they comfort some people, Gale being one of them, obviously. They're like a link to the outside. Gale sits me down on a wooden bench. He is silent, unsure of what to say or do. Almost reluctantly, he reaches out and pats me awkwardly on the back.

"It's fine Gale, you don't have to pretend when it's just us," I mutter, dusting myself off and getting up to leave.

"What?" he asks, leaping up from the bench.

_He loved me too, Peeta, he still does. But I haven't told him if I love him or not._

_And all the time I kept Gale waiting. That's why Gale's so cold._

Katniss' words play in my head and repeat themselves before I speak again.

"You don't like me."

"What?" he repeats.

"I know you don't, Gale. I've been filled in on enough information to grasp what has happened."

Gale sighs and sits back down. "It's not that I don't like you, Peeta. I'm… confused," Gale spits out the word like it's poison. "Who is she gonna choose?"

I sit back down next to him and let out a similar sigh. "But I don't love her anymore. I don't remember ever loving her all that well. And she doesn't love me. And… I don't love her!" I throw my head in my hands, knowing that I'm just trying to convince myself now.

"Peeta, you still love her, don't you?" Gale looks at me with pain and sorrow in his eyes.

"I don't know," I reply, truthfully. Gale groans.

"She loves you. You've been by her side every moment that you could have been. She wouldn't care about me," Gale says in a low voice dripping with regret.

"No. She loves you. You've been her best friend and she trusts you. She doesn't have to worry about the Hunger Games and the Capitol. You can help her move on," I argue, determined not to be in love with her.

I look at Gale and he looks at me. His dark hair and grey eyes and my light hair and blue eyes. I realise that we could be friends in a normal life. We could get along. He's funny and… nice. I wouldn't dislike him if I met him one day at school. So I smile at him, like I would if I met him at school. There's a long pause before he smiles back at me.

"Y'know, Gale, we could be friends," I say hesitantly.

"Yeah, I guess. If the Capitol and Katniss never existed," Gale laughs bitterly to himself.

"But they do. And we have to deal with it. Nobody said we had to do it completely alone, being bitter, miserable and confused. We can convince other people with cheesy lines made for T.V, right? I'll give you the satisfaction of me saying that I need help."

Gale laughs, but this time he isn't bitter. I laugh too. He holds out his hand and I shake it. I don't if it's a truce, or a sign of friendship. But it's a start. It's a start. We stand up at the same time and walk out of the gardens together, making normal conversation as we walk towards the huge dining hall for dinner. We hear the clatter of knives and forks and the buzz of chatter between people who have also been affected by the Capitol. When we walk in we're still talking about life in District 12 and that weird teacher, Mrs Hazing. I tell him about the bakery and he tells me about hunting. I remember being terrible at it in 74th games.

We grab our trays, get our food and walk over to the table seating Johanna, Beetee, Finnick, Annie…and Katniss. I haven't seen her for a while and my heart soars when she smiles at me. Then the tracker jacker venom takes control and I clench my fists to stop myself charging at her. I notice that the feeling isn't as strong now. As we approach the table, I can see them all staring at Gale and I. No-one suspected that we'd ever be friends, or, not enemies. We exchange glances and sit down opposite eachother. I'm sat next to Finnick with Annie and Beetee beside him. Gale is sat next to Johanna, who is sat next to Katniss.

"Hey, guys," Finnick beams, his fingers entwined with Annie's.

"Hi," we reply. It makes me so happy to see Finnick and Annie together that I can't help but grin.

"How's your amnesia, Peeta?" Beetee asks, shovelling mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Much better, thanks. In fact, I think it's pretty much cured," I smile.

"And how was your session with the doctors?" Finnick asks, letting go of Annie's hands for the briefest of seconds while he wipes his mouth with a napkin.

I hesitate before answering. "Well, actually, it was a trainee doctor today."

I can't help but feel a pang of guilt as I speak. I'm not lying, but I don't like keeping things from people, regardless of whether I remember them or not. There are a few more minutes of small talk, and then a long moment of silence. I know the question playing on everybody's lips: What were you and Gale doing? Why the sudden civility?

I know Gale doesn't want to answer, and I'm pretty sure I don't, so I pick at the last pieces of chicken on my plate with my fork. Johanna makes a loud screeching noise with her fork and everybody flinches. Annie tenses up and covers her ears with her hands. Finnick gives Johanna an annoyed look and wraps his arms around Annie, whispering comforting words to her until she uncurls.

"She wasn't the only one who was tortured by the Capitol, you know. Peeta and I had neighbouring torture cells. We could hear eachother's screams," Johanna murmurs, waving her fork around. I feel a sickening feeling in my stomach as I remember…and then wish I didn't. Thankfully, Finnick and Annie are in their own world and are oblivious to Johanna's comment. Katniss, Gale and Beetee sit awkwardly, and Johanna laughs at the silence she's created.

After dinner is more _Reflection _time until 20:00. Finnick and Annie immediately walk off together, towards the hall in which their wedding took place. The stream that ran through the middle still remains, and is their only connection to the sea and their district right now. Johanna goes to find her axe and practise again; she is determined not to let the torture make her weak and spends two hours training every day. Gale and Beetee go to the technology room to work on their new invention for the rebellion- some sort of bomb. It dawns upon me that the rebellion is still going on around me; nothing's over yet.

Katniss and I are left, and we decide just to spend some time together. My heart is racing as we walk towards the recreation centre.

"Peeta, is everything okay? You've been acting differently lately," Katniss says slowly.

I look into Katniss' mesmerising grey eyes and know I can't lie to her face.

"Um, well," I begin haltingly, "my amnesia is fine, but, the tracker jacker venom they injected into me is acting up. They couldn't remove it, but I'm happy anyway because it could have been much worse."

Katniss' jaw drops and I'm desperate not to go any further on the subject. I realise that I still don't know much about her as a person, or myself, for that matter, and clutch at the straws.

"So, remind me again. What's your favourite colour?" I ask, a small smile appearing on my face.

"Green, I guess" she laughs, "and yours was orange. Not like a bright, bold orange, but more soothing, like the sunset." She starts to get a dreamy look in her eye.

"And what about your favourite food?" I continue.

"Bread. Bread and dandelion salad."

I remember telling me about the bread I tossed her and the dandelions she picked.

"Or lamb stew and wild rice," she adds. _Ah, her favourite dish from the Capitol, I think_. Then she nods her head at me, as if to ask: _and you?_

"Hmmm… Groosling and wild root soup," I say, replaying the image of Katniss feeding me the warm mixture in my mind, "and cheese-topped bread."

Katniss smiles at my answer. "Oh please! That soup was terrible."

"I hadn't eaten for days, I was cold, wet and in pain. It tasted delicious to me," I laugh.

"You had a horrible fever and were sick out of your mind. No wonder you thought my food tasted good," she replies lightly.

"That's probably it," I laugh.

Before I know it, it's eight o'clock and the end of our free time. And when I go to bed that night, I know for sure that I love Katniss Everdeen.

**How was that? Please review! Reviews are pretty much what keeps me going :-)**


	9. A Mission

**Hi, everyone! For this chapter I'm introducing the famous Squad 451! Since I don't know all of their physical descriptions, I'm going to make them up. Enjoy!**

"Today," President Coin begins, "is the final day of training. Tomorrow, some of you are going to District 8. You are to meet with Commander Paylor, at the barracks. Paylor has and is playing a huge part in this rebellion and you must not question anything she asks you to say or do. Am I understood?"

Katniss, Gale, Finnick, Johanna and I are seated at a large table opposite Coin. I am still a bit hesitant to trust her; she seems… too power hungry. We all nod after she speaks. If we are going to District 8 to fight, then five people seems a bit less to overpower the Capitol. I've been attending training sessions for three days now, ever since my doctors declared me sane enough to survive without medication and therapy sessions. At the back of my mind is a little voice telling me I need to thank Primrose Everdeen.

_Peeta, if you realise that you truly love Katniss Everdeen, then you'll be able to break through._

Boy was she right. I've spent more and more time with Katniss and the tracker jacker venom has been playing up less and less. My emotions aren't as mixed now, so the venom has nothing to target. Even Gale seems happier. We've been talking more often, and every time we do, it seems like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm not carrying the world on my back anymore. I glance sideways for the briefest of moments, watching Katniss' expression change from concentration to confusion.

"Don't we need more people?" Katniss asks, gesturing at all of us. "Five people can't be enough."

"Actually there are thirteen people going on this mission. You'll be led by Boggs."

All of us breathe a sigh of relief. We've got to know Boggs well. He was the one who taught me how to use a gun on my first session. I trust him completely. Coin suddenly presses a button on her table and I look around wildly, half expecting us to be chained to our chairs or surrounded by tall people in black suits carrying guns. Instead nine people dressed in training outfits walk in the room.

"These are who will be accompanying you on your mission. Together you will be squad 451. Meet Boggs, Jackson, Mitchell, Homes, Leeg 1, Leeg 2, Messalla, Cressida, Castor and Pollux."

Boggs smiles at us. His cropped grey hair, blue eyes and perfect posture are the only features that are familiar to me. Jackson looks like she is in her late thirties. She has dark hair and dark brown eyes. She seems to be squinting, like she can't see us properly. Leeg 1 and 2 are obviously twin sisters, both in their twenties, with similar green eyes. I notice that Leeg 1 has strange yellow flecks in her eyes, like someone flicked yellow paint over them. Messalla is long and lanky. He has several sets of earrings and when he opens his mouth to greet us I see he has a large tongue piercing too. Cressida is definitely from the Capitol. Her head has been shaved and emerald green vines have been tattooed all over it. Castor is brawny and muscular. He has sandy hair, a peculiar red beard and blue eyes. His brother, Pollux, has the same beard and eyes, but his hair is a dirtier blonde.

All ten of them greet us, apart from Pollux, who is an Avox. Wait… All ten? Coin said there were thirteen of us going on the mission. We total fifteen people. I give Coin a questioning look.

"Yes, Peeta. I'm sure you've realised that only thirteen of you are going to District 8. Two of you will be staying behind," Coin says calmly.

"Who?" Johanna asks suspiciously.

"Katniss and Peeta."

"What!?" Katniss exclaims, thumping her fists against the table. Coin doesn't even wince. Anger bubbles up inside me, as does a sort of longing sadness. I button my lips anyway, because I need Coin to trust me. Maybe I can convince her to let us go? I begin to wonder why she doesn't want us going. I've been training, and I no longer need medication. Katniss is the Mockingjay; if she's not in battle how will the rebel districts be encouraged? They could get some really good footage of us in District 8, especially with Katniss holding a gun. She doesn't even have to kill.

That's when it hits me. "President Coin," I pipe up, "surely getting some footage of the Mockingjay herself in the midst of the rebellion would encourage the districts to rise up against the Capitol."

Coin gives me what I think is a smile. "I agree, Peeta. But we can't crumple our little Mockingjay's wings." Her lips curl up slightly, almost as if she's sneering. Katniss narrows her eyes. Before she can come up with some sort of insult for Coin, I open my mouth to speak again.

"We don't actually have to get her to fight. Just film her holding a gun and shooting into the distance, and edit it. Beetee could do that, right?"

"But I want to fight," Katniss cries. Coin considers my plan and there is a long moment of silence.

"Well, Peeta, you have a point. And with you there too, the star-crossed lovers are complete. Alright, I'll speak with Haymitch, see what he thinks. But it's not for definite. You can all go for dinner."

The five of us rise and leave the vast, dark room in silence. It's not until we are lining up with trays to grab our food that Finnick speaks.

"Nicely played, Peeta. You and Katniss have a huge chance of going to 8 now."

"Thanks," I reply, smiling.

Finnick runs his hands through his bronze, curly hair and scans the room for Annie. She is sat on her own at a table in the corner of the room, away from anybody else. She's crying loudly, her green eyes red, puffy and streaming with tears. Her long dark hair is loose and tangled over her face. Finnick drops his tray and before it clatters to the floor, Johanna lunges out and grabs it. Finnick hurries off towards Annie Cresta. We quickly help ourselves to bowlfuls of chicken noodles and warm, fluffy bread before following Finnick to Annie's table. Finnick has his arms wrapped tightly around Annie, who is no longer crying but whimpering feebly.

"Tell me what's wrong," Finnick is pleading, panic, grief and distress in his voice. Annie is trembling in his hug but wipes her tears away and looks at Finnick.

"Finnick, I'm… I'm pregnant," she sobs.

"Annie, that's wonderful!" Finnick beams, kissing Annie's forehead.

"Congratulations, Annie," I smile, reaching out and patting her once on the shoulder.

"Wow, a kid," Gale simply murmurs.

"That's amazing," Katniss says quietly. Johanna nods and smiles at Annie and Finnick.

"No! You're all g-going away, and you c-could, could…die before the baby is born," Annie collapses into tears again.

"Oh, Annie, never! I will be here for the birth of our child. There's no way I could miss that," Finnick whispers, slowly and gently placing his hand on Annie's stomach. He gives her a smile only someone who is madly in love can give. Only Annie could receive that smile from Finnick Odair. Annie manages a small smile and rests her head against Finnick's shoulder. He rubs her arm comfortingly and soon enough she stops crying completely.

"I'll be here to help raise our kid, Annie. I promise," Finnick mutters.

I just hope that Finnick can keep that promise.

**What did you think? Please review! :) **


	10. The News

**Hi! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed/favourite-d/followed, it feels awesome to know there are people who like what I write :) Anyway, *throws confetti* we've made it into double figures! Yay! Chapter 10 coming up!**

I wake as the sun rises, and get dressed, because I know I can't go back to sleep now. I throw on a robe on top of my normal clothes, because it's pretty cold here. Yawning, I pull the door open and walk into the long corridor, no real purpose in my mind. Slowly, slowly, I make my way to the gardens deep within District 13. I sniff the fake lilies happily, because someone somewhere took the time to spray each flower with its individual scent. There is a faint sound of birds chirping, probably playing on some sort of sound system. I sit on the wooden bench where I finally learned to understand Gale, and replay our conversation in my head, letting my gaze wander from flower to flower. Suddenly, I hear the pitter-patter of footsteps coming towards me, and look up.

"Can't sleep either?" Katniss whispers softly, wrapping a robe similar to mine tightly around herself.

I smile and shake my head. I know I probably look a mess right now, but I don't really care. All I'm aware of is Katniss and flowers. Pale pink light filters in through the windows on the ceiling, showing us how tantalizingly close we are to the other people above ground. The light casts a breath-taking glow around Katniss' face, bathing her features in a pool of colour. She looks even more beautiful this way.

"I come here nearly every morning when the sun rises, you know," she says, bending down and cupping a fallen flower in her hands. It is a Rue flower. Even I know that with my lack of knowledge of plants. I know that because of the time that one couple asked me to ice rue flowers on their anniversary cake, and I had to go to the meadow to know what they were talking about. Katniss sits down next to me on the bench and looks around, her eyes filled with joy.

"I like it here, too," I say.

"Do you think we'll be allowed to go to District 8?" she asks. "You did a really good job of convincing Coin, Peeta. Thanks."

"It's okay. I hope we'll be able to go. I've been wanting to go above ground for weeks."

Katniss leans closer towards me. "I don't really trust Coin. There's something about her."

"I know what you mean. She seems ruthless," I admit, pretending to observe the rue flower in her hand. This whole scene reminds me of something… Yes. It reminds me of the night before our first Hunger Games started, when we were on the roof, watching the people of the Capitol partying in the streets. Celebrating our misery. We both have the same fear of being watched here as we did back then. This makes me reconsider President Coin altogether. It's not that hard to compare her to President Snow, now that you think about it. And they have a lot more similarities than they do differences.

"I'm still nervous about this whole thing failing. What if the Capitol crushes the rebellion?" Katniss grimaces.

"I don't know. I guess it'll be back into the arena for us. I think I'm becoming friends with the arena, now. I know it quite well," I chuckle. "And with the Mockingjay, we have quite a good chance."

"Oh, please. How am I supposed to fuel a war?"

I laugh quietly. "You have no idea, the effect you can have."

Katniss looks up at me suddenly. Her eyes study my face, until she looks into my eyes. Her brow is furrowed and her lips pursed, as if she wants to say something but she doesn't know what to say. There is a long pause, in which I watch Katniss run her fingers through her hair. I don't know how to react, and I don't think she does either.

"You've said that before," she murmurs, "or something like that."

"I have?" I reply absent-mindedly. "When?"

Katniss braids her hair slowly. "Before the 74th Hunger Games. You said it to Haymitch. At first I thought you were trying to demean me, but then I thought it was a compliment, in some way…"

"It was. It is," I assure her, holding her gaze. I don't know if I should do this, but I cautiously reach out, take the small, perfect rue flower from her hands and gently place it in her glossy, dark hair. Then I quickly withdraw my hand, just in case. Instead of scolding me, Katniss gives me a very, very small smile. I return it, glad that I'm not in trouble for that somewhat risky move.

"When do you think I should tell Prim?" she asks. I know Prim is the only thing she really, truly cares about.

"About 8? We don't even know if we're going yet," I remind her, waiting to see if she will make a move to take the flower out of her hair. She doesn't, and it makes me smile.

"I'm sure we will."

"You have that much faith in me?" I laugh.

"I have faith in your abilities. We all told you, you were the smoothest talker out of all of us. You had the audience from the get go. Paired with Caesar Flickerman, your interview stole the show." I can tell Katniss is trying to avoid the topic about my declaration of love for her in front of all of Panem.

"Are you saying I can talk better than THE Finnick Odair?" I gasp in mock astonishment. Katniss gives me one of her 'it's laugh-worthy but I don't laugh all that often' smiles. I wonder if she knows that I'm falling for her all over again. _Oh Peeta,_ I think. _You're like a lovesick puppy. _ I wonder if she's still as indifferent towards me as ever. _No. She was never indifferent, she just never loved you. She never will love you. So stop it._

I sigh quietly and decide to listen to the stern voice in my head. If I keep thinking like this then the tracker jacker venom will have something to target. And I do not want Katniss' blood on my hands. No, sir. I hear voices in the distance and know that the rest of District 13 is starting to waken. Which means our conversation is over. Realizing this, I get up and tell Katniss that breakfast should be ready by now. So we leave the gardens and make our way towards the dining hall, where the smell of freshly baked bread, eggs and sausage wafts through the air. The bread reminds me of home.

As soon as I enter the dining hall I realise that I'm still in my robe, and so is Katniss. I shrug away the thought, at least we have normal clothes on underneath. We grab the flimsy plastic trays and wait in the queue for the cooked breakfast. As I watch other people carry away the juicy sausages, warm eggs and buttered toast away my stomach gives a low growl. Breakfast looks good today. We grab the plates and cutlery and choose a table. It's the table farthest away from everyone else; the one we always choose if we're in early. I take a sip of the diluted concoction that is District 13's equivalent of orange juice.

"This looks good," Katniss remarks, taking a sip of her 'juice'.

"Yeah," I agree, "and I'm ravenous."

"Me too." And at that we dig in, both of us eager to get started.

"The others are late," I tell her, dabbing at my face with a napkin. "It's already nine o'clock."

"Maybe we can get second helpings and pretend it's our first when they get here," Katniss shrugs, but we both know this is impossible. With so many people, there's never enough for second servings. Poor Greasy Sae (as Katniss and Gale call her) can't get many supplies from above ground, or else it might get the Capitol's attention. And we don't exactly have loads of money. Just enough for basics; food, water, clothes, beds, weapons and training facilities. That's all we need. Although the previous victors and those highly involved in the rebellion get special treats, like an en suite bathroom.

A man in a uniform comes towards us just as Gale and Beetee file in. "Have you been stamped yet?" he asks, holding two different stamps in his hands. Usually we get stamped after breakfast, and I see nobody else who has been stamped.

"No," I reply anyway. The man motions for us to hold our wrists and we do. Then, once we're stamped, he walks away from us and towards Gale and Beetee, who are in the queue. I see why it's just us who've been stamped when I look at the schedule. At eleven thirty, when breakfast ends, _Meeting with President Coin _is there on my wrist in black ink.

"I think this is when we're going to find out if we're going or not," I say. Katniss nods. We finish the last of our toast just as Gale and Beetee sit down next to us, their wrists stamped too. But at eleven thirty, they have _Training for Mission_. I look up at the queue, to see if anyone else going to 8 is there. Finnick and Annie are, but only Finnick has been stamped. I assume he has the same stamp as Gale and Beetee. Johanna has only entered the dining hall, and the man with the stamps seems to have noticed her too. Soon the rest of Squad 451 is in the breakfast queue, and Stamp Man has approached all of them to stamp the slightly altered schedule on their wrists.

Johanna, Finnick and Annie sit down next to us. We greet them with smiles.

"So, what do you think _Training for Mission_ will involve?" Johanna asks, her mouth full of toast.

"I have no idea, but I'm sure it won't be too different from normal training," Finnick replies, running his thumb gently against Annie's hand as he holds it. Annie snuggles closer to him and rests her head against his shoulder. It's images like these that remind me of my first Hunger Games with Katniss; the scenes in the cave when she was just pretending. To me the feeling was as real as it is now.

"Our stamps our different," I say nodding my head at Beetee, who is sitting next to me.

"Our?" Johanna looks at me questioningly.

"Katniss' and mine. We have a meeting with Coin, which I assume means we're finding out if we're allowed to go to District 8."

"Good luck," Beetee smiles.

"Any news about the weapon development?" Katniss asks, referring to Gale and Beetee.

"Yeah, it's going pretty well actually," Gale answers, sipping his makeshift juice.

"We've come up with- well, not a new weapon exactly, but something of the sort," Beetee adds.

"Cool. I can't wait to show the Capitol that we kick butt," Johanna grins evilly. The buzzed off haircut makes her eyes look more prominent, and with her evil expression, she pretty much looks like a diabolical schemer. The thought of Johanna wearing a white coat and goggles in a lab combining chemicals together in a flask makes me laugh.

"What?" she hisses.

"Nothing, nothing…" I grin, "I can really imagine you as an evil genius."

"Except without the genius part," Gale smirks, and Johanna slaps him semi-lightly on the arm.

"Hey! You should have seen me in my games. I was lickle babykins Johanna, got a 3 in training, and then I got my hands on an axe! Those kids didn't stand a chance," Johanna laughs, almost sadly.

At this point, I feel almost sorry for Johanna. They killed everybody she ever cared about. This makes me remember that my family's dead, too. I look around at the people sitting with me. They're basically all I have left. I have a brief feeling of homesickness. I miss my father, my brothers, and maybe for the first time, my mother. I wonder what will happen to the ruins of my home district. Will it lie there forever, a mass of rubble and debris? Or will people try to gather what they can and rebuild it?

I look at the time on the large clock hanging on the wall. It's ten past eleven; twenty minutes left till our meeting with President Coin. Butterflies soar in my stomach, resting on my stomach lining for the briefest of moments before taking flight again.

"We should probably get going," I say to Katniss, gesturing towards the clock with my thumb. She nods and we pick up our trays and bid the other goodbye. They send us on our way with "Good luck!", "It'll be fine," and "See you later,".

Fifteen minutes later we are standing in front of Coin's door, after dropping off our robes and tidying ourselves up a bit. Katniss decided to keep the fake flower in her hair, which made my heart pound in my chest so loud I thought she would hear it. I rap lightly on the door, hoping she wouldn't be angry that we're five minutes early. Maybe she'll appreciate the punctuality.

"Come in," comes Coin's voice from inside, calm and cool as always.

"Does she live in there!?" Katniss whispers quietly so only I will hear it. I give her a smile and then walk in to Coin's office. Coin is sat in her black leather chair, wearing a black suit. Her grey hair falls to her shoulders and her pale grey eyes show no emotion. She motions for us to take a seat and we do.

"Hello, Peeta. Hello, Katniss," she says, looking at us and smiling.

"Hello," we reply nervously.

"Well, I'm sure you both know what you're here for," she continues. She reminds me of a headmistress calling in children who are in trouble. We nod. "I've had a long talk with Haymitch and the film crew, and we have all decided that… it would be very useful for the rebel districts if you both went to District 8."

"Thanks, you won't regret it," I grin, exchanging looks with Katniss.

Coin tells us we can go. Katniss and I leap out of our seats and leave the office. Just before I close the door, I hear Coin's voice.

"I better not," she says bitterly.

**I hope you liked that chapter! Sorry if it got too mushy. Please tell me what you think in the form of a review! :)**


End file.
